Follow Your Heart But Think About The Future

It seems so easy doing the right thing and giving a bunch of good advice. I wonder if I am in that position. Just a thought...

Few weeks ago a friend consulted her problems with us regarding some matters of the heart. She was committed with someone for quite a long time, I guess for about 3 years. They loved each other so much although she was sometimes having hesitations if she will live a happy life with him.

I've known her only for less than a year. I wouldn't say that we have a lot of shared secrets together. But I would still say that I have known her quite well since we are all girls staying in one room. I can say that she is a friend. A good one with a genuine heart.

Some says that we can't have it all. If we are pretty, we might be dumb. If we are smart, we might lack physical beauty. She was a good lady and so simple.
Pretty and strong-willed, a generous one not only to her family but to her friends as well. But the only thing is that she fell in love with someone who was already married and to make it more complicated.... with kids. I know this was just another ordinary story for most. But I'd like to share it still.

I knew her situation before she even told me every details. Not that one of her trusted friend betrayed her for telling me her love story. But because this friend of hers who happens to be a friend also just wants to ask me what's my view about that situation.

Until one day, she came to us and personally narrated every bits and pieces of her love life. She was asking us what's the best thing for her to do. She said that she already told her mom about her relationship with the guy. Her mom didn't approved of course but then she can't do nothing. Both were working outside of the country. The guy's wife and kids were back home. She says that there's no hint of unhappiness in the guy's family whenever he goes back home for vacation. But the guy is starting to get impatient with his wife because she's the type who can't stand on her own and can't even make her own decisions. He's happy with the second one because she has everything his wife don't have.

They have planned to get married. They wanted to live here together legally so they need to get married. She said that they have already arranged the papers to legalize their marriage. But I still wonder if their marriage can be legalized. He has been married before and he will get married again with her in the Philippines.

We advised her to think about her future. The consequences that might happen if they would still push it through. We asked her if she can't really love the other guy who's patiently waiting for her. If she can give the other guy a chance. The guy is unattached and having a good career as well. Yup there's another guy but she don't feel anything for him. I guess you can't really force yourself to love someone if you really didn't feel anything special towards that person.

One day she told us that she really don't know what to do with it. It became even more complicated for her because one of her closest friends cared for her so much that she didn't even want to see that guy. Both ladies are staying in one house. So you can just imagine how hard it is for her coz she can't even asked him to visit her at home. Her friend would choose not to come home and roam outside until that guy leaves. If her friend find out that she was with him, she would sent gazillion messages to her asking her to go home and asking her if that is what she wants... to be a mistress forever.

There were days she would tell us that she finally got over it. She says she made a decision. She was telling us that most people told her not to. They (or we) are against them. So we thought, finally she chose the right thing. One night, to my surprise, she said... "tomorrow I'm gonna be called Mrs. XXX"

She followed her heart... She will be happy... I still wonder... Will she be happy in the next 10 years? That I don't know. But I'm sincerely praying she still will be. And have no regrets it in the end.